Stupid Stupid Stupid Me...

Have you ever gone against your better judgement...or maybe putting it this way would be more appropriate...have you ever done something so completely and utterly stupid that you feel like literally kickin' your own ass? I still can not believe that I didn't say a big fat absolutely NO NOT EVER Not as long as I am walkin' talkin' and breathin' is my daughter coming over to play at your house...a house that is inhabited by 1 massive Dobermen Pincher and 1 equally massive German Sheppard!! BUUUUTTTT NO instead of saying "No", I was softened by the sweet little voice on the other end of the phone...Pleeeease can Em come over and play tomorrow night after school? Instead of saying no I said "How about if I have her call you tomorrow after school to let you know, if she doesn't have a ton of home work it should be alright". STUPID STUPID WOMAN!! Ironically I just had a very intense discussion with this child last week while she was in my kitchen, informing her that I haven't let Em and Sar come and play at her house because of her dogs, I explained my phobia and apologized for being so rigid and fearful...she assured me with great big blue sparkly eyes and a squeaky little preteen voice that "my dogs are just the sweetest and they would never bite anyone". PA-Leeease!! I have heard that line of crap before, but did I heed my own personal red flag warning of resistance? Nope...Em called...she went...she was biten in the arm and behind as she walked through the front door of her friends house...surprize surprize and let me say with pure and complete authority...I HATE BIG DOGS!! Kruze called me at work to tell me that Em had been biten twice and that the owner of the dogs was yelling at him because he wanted proof that the dogs had been vaccinated..."she" was yelling at "him"!!! Excuse me?!! Owner of 2 useless piles of stinking flesh get the frickin' proof before I grab my rifle and put a bullet in the back of both of their worthless heads!! And thats pretty much the fury that followed me around at work for the rest of the night. Kruze had to take Em to the emergency room just to be on the safe side, of course when there has been a dog bite there is all kinds of protcol...for instance..the Humane Society gets envolved...the dogs need to be quarentined for 10 days and the owner needs to make three visits with them to the vet during those 10 days...very costly...its a small victory for the victim. I am still angry. I still feel like an idiot for letting my daughter go over there, but mostly I am furious at the owner of the dogs, she had no right to yell at Kruze and no right to suggest that it was all Em's fault...people need to take responsibility for their pets, if they are uncontrollable and unpredictable then they have no business being around children. I share the blame for this one I agree, I am aware of how dogs respond to me and I should have suspected that my children would share this gene.

And She Drew a Crowd with Her Fake Piano Playing...

My girls had a half day at school this week so I decided not to send them at all, they never do anything all that important on half days anyway...and we wanted to go and visit Grandma,the girls haven't seen her in a few weeks. We picked up my sister on the way (Hi Anna...yes girl this is the REVENGE I was talkin' about). We traveled the usual distance which has become increasingly difficult due to the gas prices...don't even get me started...I could do an entire post on what I think about these gas prices. If my grandma wasn't so bloody far away I would refuse to drive my truck at all this summer.
It was an uneventful trip...aside from my "alleged" crazy driving (check out: Lifeaccordingtoanna-4 Girls on a roadtrip). We were at the hospital and visiting with Grandma for a short time when the nurse came in and asked us to please leave the room because she wanted to move Gran from her wheel chair back into her bed so she could be a little more comfortable. We rode the elevator down to the lobby where there is a little visitors room, in the room is a piano that plays itself...and quite well. Em and Sar and I have spent time (dancing) in this visitors room when ever the nurses ask us to give them a few minutes alone with Gran. The girls love the piano and couldn't wait to show it to their Aunt. My sister was pretty astonished by the fact that the piano was playing itself...the wonder and awe beaming in her eyes...of course she felt moved to place her buns on the piano bench and it wasn't long before her fingers were moving across the keys...she threw her head back and closed her eyes like a pale skinned Stevie Wonder...swaying to the melody of her stolen talent...the girls and I were loving the show, she was very convincing, which is probably why when she finally finished her musical plegarism she opened her eyes and found a crowd of at least 8 elderly people staring at her with great appreciation and respect...if they hadn't already been standing they probably would have given her a standing ovation. Her face turned several shades of red (very becoming I might add)and she stood up and stepped away from the piano as the music continued to play beautifully under the skilled fingertips of an invisible pianist...Anna Anna Anna...I have never laughed so hard...I'm sure our laughter could still be heard drifting down the corridors of the hospital as we chased after her running for the elevator...

Brand Spankin' New Buds....

Beyond Unreal...

My mother is spending a little down time with us for the next week or two,I love it when she comes to stay. Em and Sar and all the dogs love it when Na~Na comes to visit too. They all fight over who gets to sit next to her, the dogs are especially jealous. Kruze likes it when she comes because it is a constant battle of the wits between the two of them, they rip on each other continuously(they are lovingly viscious).
Two days ago mom and I decided to go visit my grandmother in the hospital, its a long drive 4 hours there and of course 4 back. The drive started out beautifully, the sun was shining and mom and I were talking about the girls and school and Lilli and how she's turning out to be a really good litle dog (we brought her along to visit Gran,they allow small dogs). About an hour into the drive I spotted a little wooden playhouse with a green metal roof in a large yard next to a big red barn, incidently it happened to be an Amish farm. I slowed down and pulled into the driveway because there was a "for sale" sign on the little playhouse, Sar has been beggin' her daddy to build her a playhouse for about 2 years now, he hasn't had the time with all of the other projects he has been tryin' to tackle. It was really just the cutest little house and the Amish built it!! How can it get any better?!! I love all things Amish!! It was too perfect not to stop and examine it close up....Amish Farm...Big Red Barn...cow cows in the field...the sun was shinin' and I was wearin' my favorite skirt and sweater set and little leather sandals...how could a single thing go wrong?
I jumped out of the car and walked around the front of it toward the little house. It was so precious I hardly noticed a thing around me, I was just about to step up onto the little minature porch and peek through the window when I felt a mouth close over my hand...there were teeth, though I only felt them graze my flesh, I stopped dead in my tracks barely any time to register what was happening and certainly not enough time to conjure up my normal panic response at the meer sight of a dog. I looked down and there he stood, Big Dog. Thankfully he started to lick my hand,my face, my neck, all the while jumping all over me and wagging his tail happily. I started to feel that little familiar fear reer its ugly head as the dog got a little more carried away with the friendliness but I just kept telling him...nice big doggy...nice nice nice big doggy...pleeeeease stay nice big big doggy...while I walked quickly toward the car with him jumping all over me...I opened the door and jumped inside slamming it behind me. Shwuuhhhh relief!! And then we smelled it. The scent hit mom and I like a brick wall and knocked the wind clean out of our lungs! Cow manure! Big billowing clouds of stink...and I was wearing it. All over my skirt and sweater and sandals, arms and legs and in my hair, stink from head to toe. We could hardly breathe, we tried rolling the windows down, that didn't help. Mom even sprayed a little of the perfume she carries in her purse, that didn't help. It was a miserable stench, we were laughing and gagging all the way to the nearest town a little over an hour and a half away. Thank God for "great-big-blood-sucking-take-over-the-world-and-send-the little-man-with-his-little-business-packing-Wal*mart"(can you feel my love for Wal*mart?). I found a quick "make~do" outfit (and a gorgeous Easter Lily for Gran), purchased it and changed into the outfit after rinsing my arms and legs the best I could in the restroom and then jammed all the cow poop clothing in the bag and tied it as tight as I could...it still stunk even through the plastic. I was heading out thru the big Wal*mart doors and feeling like the crisis had been averted and it really hadn't been all that bad because if nothing else at least mom and I had a great laugh and isn't it much more fun to laugh at the detours and bumps along your path...and then, I kid you not, a bird flew over and shit on my head!! Right on my HEAD!! SHEESH could I be any more of a shit magnet!!?

The Perfect Storm....

Kruze took this picture a few nights ago while standing on our porch...

"You can't change a man...unless he's in diapers" Mason,Nov 2005 

Just Rambling...

I am waiting for a delivery today so I am stuck in the house or at least around the house...so I figured what a great time to tell the tale of "Two Fathers and One Dad".

My mother filed for a divorce when I was 7 and my sister was 6. She divorced the man that gave me my genes and very little else. He was an alcoholic with a nasty temper and thats about all that I remember about him...aside from two incidents that seem to define him in my mind. The first being, him standing over me and my mom and my little sister, screaming at us and then walking away while swallowing the last drop of alcohol from the bottle in his hand and then turning and throwing the empty bottle at all three of us...not a horrible memory but not a memory I would choose to leave my children with. The second incident...me and my sister and my mom returning home to a front door that was left wide open, blood all over the door handle and smeared all over the door, blood every where on every surface and dripped all over the floor, a huge picture window completely smashed with glass laying every where, apparently my father could not find his key and he was in such a rush to find money for more alcohol that he decided to jump through the huge window in the living room leaving shattered glass and blood all over the floor, he smashed my Mickey Mouse piggy bank and stold all of my money leaving broken Mickey and blood all over my bed and blankets and then he did the same to my sisters Donald Duck piggy bank. A very loving man with so very much to offer...that would not describe my blood father. I would not say that I am bitter toward him or that I have been horribly damaged by him,I do not think that I need to lay on a couch and spend hundreds of dollars to work through my brief life with him, I have very few memories of him. He barely exists for me except for a few fleeting moments when I wish he had been something more then what he was.
My mother filed for divorce again when I was 14 and my sister was 13. She divorced the man that gave me my love of gardening and nature and the obsessive drive to finish what I have started (unfortunatly more often then not I am left with the feeling of complete failure because of this trait, my own mental deficency, he is not to blame). His favorite saying "If your going to do it half~assed, don't even start it at all". I have a million wonderful memories of this man ,he was a great listener and he was strong and hard working and humble. He could make me laugh until I felt like I was gonna pee my pants. He taught me so many things and I loved him completely, but he didn't love my mother and he stayed far longer then he should have.
Both of these men were my fathers. But neither one was ever my Dad. There has only been one constant man in my life that could even come close to deserving that title. His name was Leo,he was my grandpa. He was there when I was born, he was there when I took my first steps, he laughed when I laughed, he cried when he saw my tears, he listened to my teenage troubles and walked with me through my adult fears. He smiled with his eyes and loved with his whole heart and I am so thankful that he was in my life,he passed away when Emily was 2. I still feel him with me every day and if I close my eyes I can still see his smile...he gave me the security and the faith to realize that not all men leave...

South Bound to Some Where...

Anna recognize this view?  

So I've Been Told...

I talk in my sleep...and I guess to some extent I do remember most of these conversations or at least there are very vague recollections. I also remember most of the times that I have shoved Kruze until he is almost laying on the floor and the only thing keeping him from actually dropping from the bed are the sheets and blankets that are mercifully tangled around his hips and legs, these times I have heard bumps and thumps in the house and am positive that a stranger is lurking around. Mostly Kruze is a good sport and detangles himself from our warm bed to venture into the cold lower level of the house to chase off my imaginary burglar. There are other times though that he is just plain fed up and too tired to play along. These times I do eventually fall back asleep after realizing that if there really was a stranger in the house he probably would have gotten up to whatever monkey business he intended after the first or second hour of me laying with my eyes wide open staring at the blackness of the ceiling and listening with all of my might to see if I can hear him again.
I remember talking in my sleep and telling Kruze that I can hear voices (probably my own)and him listening very intently to the silence...and then there are times when I wake him up and then forget why I needed him to be awake...thankfully he has a good sense of humor. I have always had horrible sleep patterns, sometimes I can go for months with very little sleep...between 3 and 4 hours a night. I am sure this is due to the large amounts of coffee that I consume on a daily basis, but really, what are we if not for our vises?!!
Kruze's latest sleep disturbance...apparently I woke him out of a sound sleep to have him scratch the tip of my nose...and yes I do sort of remember this...and there was a perfectly good explanation for why I needed to wake him to scratch it!! My arms were asleep!! Both of them!!(its a horrible explanation, but I do vaguely remember feeling like the arms attached to my body belonged to someone else)He assured me that after 14 years of marriage he was happy to ablige....poor poor sleep deprived Kruze...no wonder the man is constantly complaining that he is exhausted!!

Naughty Naughty Beag!! We had quite a scare this morning...Kruze put Maizy outside on her chain to do her morning business and later on when I went to the door with Milo so that he could have his turn Maizy and the chain were both gone...I freaked because when Maizy has no restraints that dog is like a rocket and the only thing that will stop her is a huge thundering screech to the top of your lungs and then that only works if she knows that you can see her...if she is out of site and she knows it she just runs full out to any where...well we all trudged thru the entire yard and surrounding fields...No Maizy and not even a howl to be heard, we were sure we would never see her again, then Kruze decided to take one more scope around the backyard by the wood piles...there she sat so forlorn with her head hangin' and her chin practically touchin' the ground, stuck tight and wrapped around a Red Currant bush...of course she just couldn't bring herself to bark or howl when we were all screaming and calling for her!! Sheesh! She could have starved to death(though it would have taken at least 2 months she is a little thick around the middle these days) out there all stuck in the bushes... 

Oh Sunny (Frigid) Day....

The Lake near our home...  

Dancing Naked by the Pale Moonlight....

Yesterday Sar and I had to pick Em up after school, we decided to take Lilli with us (its impossible to bring Maizy along...she is embarrassing beyond all reason...she screeches and howls at cars driving by us and at people walking down the street and bikers and other dogs and mailmen and squirrels and roadkill and the wind...) we take Lil with us every where, she is quite the little social butterfly and can get even the crabbiest person to smile, she's such a little flirter. Whenever we pull up to stop lights Lil stands up on her hind legs peeks out the window with her perky little cock-eyed ears and the person in the next car just has to laugh and talk to her. Mostly though Lilli's habit in the car is to curl up in my lap and fall asleep while I am driving..I feel like maybe I should wear a Chaufers hat and a black suit and tie. I do love taking her along with us because she is so well behaved and we hardly even know she is there...so unlike her older sister. After we picked Em up from school I noticed that Em had some seriously dry lips, they were all chapped and cracking (she has a habit of licking them constantly especially outside and the wind really does a number on them) we were really close to the local "Health Food Store" so I left Em and Sar and Lilli in the car and ran in to find some chapstick...at this health food store finding chapstick that is just plain and simple chapstick is impossible, everything has Hemp in it (derived from marijauna) if I wanted my daughters lips to smell like marijauna we'd all just smoke a little!! JUST KIDDING!!! I did finally find a few different flavors one Mint/Lavender and one Lemon/Tangerine both of which still contained Hemp but thankfully neither one of these scents made me want to run outside and wrap my arms around an oak tree so I bought the Lemon/Tangerine for Em. While I was shopping around in the little store I found some homemade and completely all natural hand lotion it was called Kitchen Lotion and apparently if you use it after you do dishes it wards off dishpan hands and evil spirits. It had all kinds of crazy herbs in it and it smelled alot like dancing naked by the pale moonlight, carrots and brussell sprouts with a little Patchouli thrown in just to take that nasty smell of freshly smoked pot right off your finger tips...naturally I had to try some from the tester bottle...that was about roughly 16 hours ago and my hands still smell like a bonafided tree-hugger's hands regardless of the fact that I have since washed dishes, my hands a million times and my face just before bed and poor Lilli smells exactly the same because as soon as I slide back into my car seat after slathering the stuff all over my hands she jumped in my lap and kissed my face while I gave her great big hugs and kisses. Now I own a small dog that smells like she should be wearing only 100% cotton clothing and clogs and only bathe once a month in a bubbling creek in the middle of a green pasture...

Little Sick Hippie Chick...

Taken ~ July '05~


Sar wasn't feeling well this morning so I had to keep her home from school...right now she is laying under 2 fuzzy blankets on the couch and watching "The SpongeBob Movie" (not my favorite movie but she likes it). I was suspecting that we would have a sick day today because yesterday her class had an all day fieldtrip to a Play in a city near our town, it was a play about a popular fairytale, one that Sar ordinarily loves...and though the play was very good she hardly seemed interested in it at all and mostly kept her head on my shoulder with her eyes closed. She felt warm to me then. Most of last night she was quiet and laying around...not her normal self..usually she is terrorizing her sister, riding her bike or playing with her gazillion dolls. So it was a sick day today which of course I don't mind at all...that just means that I get to snuggle on the couch with her and watch all the cartoons that I normally can't watch...my favorite "Little Bear" by Maurice Sendick. Love Love Love "little Bear". I have to mention that I am absolutely in love with "Kipper" too, when Sarah was a baby (2years old)her and I watched the cartoon Kipper and in case none of you know who he is I will just have to tell you, he is the most adorable little cartoon terrior with a british accent. Love Love Love Kipper!! And so today is a cartoon snuggle fest with my baby and I don't even have to be embarrassed by the fact that "I" want to watch a cartoon Bear and Terrior...

Last Night...

I've been taking a walk after supper every night...trying to get rid of the winter jiggle. Last night the air was a little frigid but the sun was shining so I decided to walk anyway. It was beautiful despite the fact that the only color visible was a hundred shades of brown...I should have been thinking about the beauty surrounding me and the fact that the only sound was of the wind blowing. Instead my thoughts kept returning to the fact that I was walking toward the home of the 7 Doberman Pincher's (You may remember them from a previous post of mine, "Shakin' in my Nike's"). I was walking down our road and thinking how very far away I was from anyone (further then a scream can carry),and hoping that those nasty dogs were inside their fence. I kept imaging that I could hear the sound of paws running and digging into gravel and dirt...my heart would start to race and I would turn around expecting to see 7 vicious dogs glaring at me with their razor sharp teeth bared. Of course every time I turned around there was nothing there but miles of dirt road.I had to turn around and head toward home because the closer I got to that house the harder my heart pounded and I was afraid I'd have a heart attack right there all over the muddy dirt road. Not a very dignified way to die and it really wouldn't read well as a headline in the local newspaper. "Woman dies all over muddy dirt road after imaginary dogs attack her". I did manage to take a few pictures before I turned tail and ran home to safety...I think tomorrow night I will stick to my usual path which leads far far away from those dogs.(who on earth by the way needs 7 vicious dogs? Its diabolical!!)

Here are a few of the pictures I took in between my pyschotic episodes...

10 Things...

1. Big pet peeve..men who wear black socks with shorts and sandals...eeeew (rethink the wardrobe)...
2. Cherry koolaid...I crave it
3. I watch "Survivor" every week and I have been known to watch "The Bachelor" but only occasionally...(what are those woman thinking?)
4. I love poetry..my favorite poets : William Butler Yeats and Sarah Teasdale my favorite poems by these two poets : "The Song of the Wandering Aengus" William Butler Yeats and "Longing" by Sarah Teasdale...
5. I adore baby toes...
6. I love the end of the day when the sun is low and the sky is a million shades of blues and pinks and everything is perfectly green and glowing...
7. I only like the very first Dorito out of the bag...the rest are up for grabs...
8. Cookies...love them only when they are warm and fresh out of the oven or still cookie dough...
9. I'm scared of our basement...100 years of dirt floor and crawling things...
10. I am a horrible driver...there I said it..its true I am easily distracted and I drive way too fast...




I'm keeping this idea (10 Things) because although I only had a few of you actually tell me 10 things about yourselves I did have a few people email me and ask me to keep it up so it stays and I would still love to read a few things about all of you...so please please dig deep and find a few things you feel like admitting...or just eavesdrop on mine...either way its all good...