Guess its Gonna Have to Hurt...
False or phony I don't think so. I am referring to my blog. In fact I think it is pretty accurate. Very little to draw attention for much more then a quick glance to see if the pictures have changed or maybe if there are a few new lines to read. I haven't really put a whole lot of content into my posts lately mostly because I am finding it hard to put my thoughts and feelings into words more so then because I want to deceive. I suppose it would be just plain simple to write exactly what happened in terms of where I am now and how I got here. I could just blurt it out and be done with it. Just the facts...cold and harsh and unforgiveable. I left. I left because I was having feelings for another man. I left because I thought it wasn't fair to Kruze. I left because I was confused and needed to clear my mind and find something that I felt was missing. I left because I didn't know how I could possibly stay, feeling the things I was feeling. I left because I felt that Kruze deserved better. I left because I didn't feel like I deserved the things that Kruze had to offer, he gave me everything that I thought could make me happy, things that I have wanted my entire life. I left because I just didn't feel deserving of those things because still I felt pieces missing, important pieces, pieces that can not be found in things. I left.
posted by Lucy Kruze at 7:39 PM
8 Comments:
Lucy, you're not that guilty, or guilty at all. One does what one must in life and often it takes a great deal of courage to pursue, or even find the correct path.
Lucy,
You are the only person who knows what you are thinking and feeling everyday. It is not for others to judge what they think is right or wrong for you. We all make decisions based on the many facets of our lives. They are our decisions to make. I agree with Refugee from Reason about it taking courage to pursue the correct path in life. Good luck and please know that if you are ever in need of anything, I am here for you. Take care and try not to be so hard on yourself. Also know that you are not alone....
I'm sorry.
You're all in my prayers.
Ow! That pain is familiar. It is such an isolated feeling and yet most women have shared the same situations/questions/pain.
Not enough facts here, but let me share with you two things that saved my marriage and family.
1. You know a man loves you by not what he says, but by what he does for you.
2. If you put the same energy that you would put into a fantasy/affair into your relationship with your spouse, your marriage will bloom.
It sounds like there has been a wake up call in your family. Give it a chance. If Kruse can let walls down and you can let walls down (it has to be a two way street) you can fill that emptiness.
I think I was where you are now about 14 years ago. I applied the first two rules and we are great. We got through it and moved forward. Just had our 25th anniversary. Now we are planning our retirement.
Hope my 2 cents gives a little insight. Thanks for sharing.
thanks for saying your sorry Lucy.it helped me alot with the mess I was in.it was good to hold you and say I was sorry to. this year has been very hard for us all.and only the family its self knowns how much has gone on.life is short and its wise to do the best you can.I have always loved you its just I wasn,t able to agree with how this went down.hope you check my blog it has a post for you.love mom.{oh this is to those who judged me with out the whole story."you can,t judge without the details.and I hope you never go though a crappy year like we were just though.if you do I hope people judge you the same way you did.this was for Jessie.and yes "you" are just a kid!!!}
Hey, Lucy-- are you doing okay? Been thinking about you.
xo
Hey Luc, its been awhile since Ive been on the computer not felt much like getting on, and I havent posted on my blog since Oct. 13 not that much happens on it anyway can barely get even the family to comment. but oh well. So glad you and mom got things worked out, Im proud of you both for letting your pride down and saying sorry. You two mean everything to me, your my two best friends in this world and it was very hard to see what the two of you where going through. Its not been a very good year. I injoyed our long talk the other day, miss you so much can't wait to see you next weekend.
Love ya sis,
Anna
just want to say I miss you.
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