Guess its Gonna Have to Hurt...

False or phony I don't think so. I am referring to my blog. In fact I think it is pretty accurate. Very little to draw attention for much more then a quick glance to see if the pictures have changed or maybe if there are a few new lines to read. I haven't really put a whole lot of content into my posts lately mostly because I am finding it hard to put my thoughts and feelings into words more so then because I want to deceive. I suppose it would be just plain simple to write exactly what happened in terms of where I am now and how I got here. I could just blurt it out and be done with it. Just the facts...cold and harsh and unforgiveable. I left. I left because I was having feelings for another man. I left because I thought it wasn't fair to Kruze. I left because I was confused and needed to clear my mind and find something that I felt was missing. I left because I didn't know how I could possibly stay, feeling the things I was feeling. I left because I felt that Kruze deserved better. I left because I didn't feel like I deserved the things that Kruze had to offer, he gave me everything that I thought could make me happy, things that I have wanted my entire life. I left because I just didn't feel deserving of those things because still I felt pieces missing, important pieces, pieces that can not be found in things. I left.

I Don't Know

I was never looking to "better" my life just looking for something that was always missing I have hurt people and I am so very sorry for that but life should be lived in a way that makes you ecstatic to be alive and you should emit that feeling to those around you if you are just floating day to day with a sense of incompletion who are you saving by staying...

Forget Not That The Earth Delights To Feel Your Barefeet
And The Winds Longs To Play With Your Hair

Un~Titled...

If you base your self worth and self image on how other people see you and what they think of you, do you become that person ? If you go thru a major life change and for a time everything is flipped upside down and turned inside out and you can barely catch a glimpse of the person you once were , if all that is clearly visible is the you that reflects in the eyes of everyone around you is that reflection who you really are?

Blue...