Quietly "Abnormal"...
A few days ago a mother of one of Sar's classmates decided it was her business to stop me in the hallway of the school and ask me personal questions about Sarah. Rude much!? I was some what surprized considering she barely knows Sarah or I, her daughter has attended our school for less then a year. She apparently was concerned that Sarah is quiet and while the other children in class are screaming and interrupting each other and the teacher, Sarah sits quietly at her desk refusing to get involved with the craziness. "And so naturally I was wondering if you all are having family issues"...Excuse Me!? Seriously Strange Woman with mental problems...how would that be any of your business if we were?! And we are not! In any case she stood there looking at me as though I were actually going to answer such an absurd question. I did. Because I am completely co-dependent that way. Rather then cause another person discomfort I will just let them shit all over me and then I will bitch about it afterward. I answered all of her questions politely and then walked away feeling like a big pile of useless baggage. I despise the fact that my greatest comebacks find their way into my brain hours after the offense has taken place. The absolutely great thing about having a blog that belongs to me alone is that I can now tell you all what I "should" have said to her when she asked me... "Is she "normal" at home ?":
My children are quiet and respectful of others they do not interrupt teachers or other students,they know that No means No , they do not talk back to or sass adults and they listen to what they are told. If that makes them "abnormal" then I guess they are. From what I can tell by observing the behavior in children recently "normal" consists of: completely ignoring simple instructions , talking back to your parents and any other adult that comes in contact with you, swearing and using vulgar language,interrupting anyone speaking as though you are the only person on earth with anything important to say, thinking and being allowed to think that the word "No" means "Yes" if you beg and plead and carry on like a complete little shit for any length of time. This pretty much sums up the definition of current "Normal"...and I am so glad that my children appear to be falling short of that mark!
That being said...I do not pretend to think that my children are perfect...they are not. They are just little people trying to find their way...they make mistakes, they misbehave,they beg and they say and do things that they regret later...just children...maybe an Old-Fashioned normal but "Normal" just the same....
My children are quiet and respectful of others they do not interrupt teachers or other students,they know that No means No , they do not talk back to or sass adults and they listen to what they are told. If that makes them "abnormal" then I guess they are. From what I can tell by observing the behavior in children recently "normal" consists of: completely ignoring simple instructions , talking back to your parents and any other adult that comes in contact with you, swearing and using vulgar language,interrupting anyone speaking as though you are the only person on earth with anything important to say, thinking and being allowed to think that the word "No" means "Yes" if you beg and plead and carry on like a complete little shit for any length of time. This pretty much sums up the definition of current "Normal"...and I am so glad that my children appear to be falling short of that mark!
That being said...I do not pretend to think that my children are perfect...they are not. They are just little people trying to find their way...they make mistakes, they misbehave,they beg and they say and do things that they regret later...just children...maybe an Old-Fashioned normal but "Normal" just the same....
posted by Lucy Kruze at 8:14 AM
7 Comments:
As the progeny of a writer/reporter and a psychiatrist my formative years, at times, were rather odd and free form. I do recall Mother, the psychiatrist of the pair, saying "Dearie, 'normal' is someone you don't know."
Friends of mine with young children have often voiced the same rants as you. I does seem that many parents are over protective and extraordinarily indulgent. I would doubt seriously, however, that given your tenor and tone when discussing (Em?) and her perfectly lovely environment, she nothing less that pure delight.
In short, the next time a parent decides to, in the vernacular, "go off" on you, look him or her straight in the eye and say firmly, "Cave canum." Then walk away. It means "Beware of the dog" in Latin and will serve as (a) a non-sequitor they'll never understand; and (b) fair warning that you're certifiable and they should stay away from you. No doubt, your life will be fuller without them.
Refugee from Reason: I would have to say in all honesty that my children can be purely and wholely undelightful at times. In fact I have on more than one occasion felt like ripping every stinkin' hair out of my head in sheer frustration...I promise you these are children that have faults as everyone on earth does but what I do take offense to is a perfect stranger (or someone with barely any knowledge of them)telling me that they are strange or odd because they are quiet and shy. Which is exactly what the woman did. I see fault in my children, I would be a foolish parent if I did not...I don't like to hear other parents try to convince everyone around them that it is not their child that has the problem...if I didn't recognize my own children's short comings then I would be a hypocrite. I think I may have worded my post wrong...I didn't intend for it to sound as though I have perfect children...just children.
Thank you for the suggestion I think I may just use it... and I love your mother's comment to "normal" some of the craziest people I know "appear" to be completely normal...open the cover and they are stone cold pyschotic...
I'm not even sure I would have been able to come up with a quick response to such a comment...me the person who you think has a quick comment for everything. I would hope that after you so nicely answered her questions that she walked away feeling embarrassed. You have done a fine job with those girls of yours...that goes without saying!!
Reish I have to be honest I believe that had you been confronted with "Rude woman" you would have stuck up for your children and your self, I wish I had. And I wish some days that I could be a little more solid and alot less wishy washy when it comes to worrying about what other people think of me. She was forward, rude and obnoxious and I should have put her in her place. Lessons learned I guess...by the way I love your red-headed temper and convictions!! Your my idol!!
Don't worry Luc, your girls are just fine, you have done a great job with them. Sar's shyness stands out to others, they always get the wrong impression of shyness. But to ask you outright about problems at home that was quite rude. I know a few like that at our school, and then of course there are the ones not brazen enough to ask, and just make up there own senerios and spread rumors. Ya just can't win. Just know your a great mom, and your little sister admires you dearly and your girls are sweet and perfect and are like my own children, even if they came from your uterus and not mine, I couln't ask for two better neices.
Luc,
I am with you about not thinking of a good comeback until after the fact and I am also guilty of worrying about what other people think of me and my children. She needs to worry about herself and her kids and not yours. I guess one way to look at it is if Em stands out in the crowd for good behavior, she is a gem in the ruff and I know that is how you do look at it. The lady that asked you about it must not have much of a life if she sits and wonders if you are having family problems. I sure have enough of my own to worry about without worrying about any of my acquaintances. Off my soapbox now, have a great day and I am sure your kids are great!
Check out the blogspot, new post finally!
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