Learning Country....

Well there are two things that I have become relatively good at predicting out here in the middle of 4 fields...first and foremost the fact that as soon as all of the signs of spring have arrived to brighten my world...the farmer's world awakens as well...in the form of a gigantic tractor and an even bigger manure spreader. As soon as the birdies start chirpin' and the trees start buddin' the "shit" starts flying and I mean that in the absolute most literal way. I do not nessesarily have a problem with the "poop factor" a farmer 's gotta do what a farmer's gotta do...but I have a problem with the location of the flying fertilizer... which brings me to the second thing I have gotten good at predicting...the farmer appartently spreads his liquid gold on the fields that he intends to plant corn...I have come to realize this, last spring he would arrive every morning promptly at 8:30 (exactly the time I head out to my porch with my coffee cup in hand to watch the morning unfold...I had to revise that morning tradition just a bit...8:00 so that the coffee and I were gone from the porch before the "stink" arrived)last spring the "poop flew largely in the field directly in front of our porch...I kept thinking...Geez I wonder what Mr.Farmerman is going to plant there....Wheat? Alfalfa? Clover? I was so excited at the thought of those three things...how beautiful it would be to wake up every morning to a 80 acre spread of wheat...imagine how disappointed I was when I started to see tiny rows of green sprouts appearing throughout the field...long wide rows much too far apart to be wheat or clover or alfalfa...CORN!! It was corn and it was going to totally block our view not to mention leave us feeling completely isolated from the outside world (as if we don't already feel that way sometimes, living down this 200 mile long driveway). My only consolation was in knowing (hoping) that farmers rotate their crops every year...I knew (hoped)that this year would be something short and green and beautiful and non-view-obstructing...NOPE...CORN...the "shit" is flyin' right in the exact same field as last year...I could run out to the field right this minute and throw myself to the ground and beg Mr.Farmerman to pleeeeeeesae pleeeease plant wheat I beg of you Sir in the riped baggy biboveralls and the green and yellow faded farmer cap...But No I will sit back quietly and take this blow like a good little student of the country world and not say a peckin' thing....because I know without a doubt that if I say that this corn bothers me I will be seeing life through corn stalks for many many many years to come...I am learning...