If You Retch Easily...Read No Further...
Last night was Lilli's first Obedience class (it was actually the second class but our dogs were not allowed to attend the first one...as the instructors were about to unleash top secret dog training tips that were off limits to canine ears).
I was completely vexed by what I was sure was going to be a nightmarish hour of me trying desperately not to look and act like a fool while my dog paraded around the black rubber warehouse floor all puffed up and looking like a mini Terminator. "Vex"ation was complete with-in the first 5 minutes that Lil and I were in the building...she literally pounced on and viciously attacked a tiny timid Cocker Spaniel puppy who then proceeded to wet himself all over the entrance floor while his owner glared at me and wisked him away from the demon dog from hell.We were making enemies fast. I could barely handle the outward display of rejection that was being offered up to Lil and I in oversized doses. I wanted to let go of the leash and pretend I had know affiliation to the nasty little Jack Russell...unfortunatly it was too late I had already been seen wrestling her to the rubber floor while trying to shove hotdogs in her mouth and begging her to please stop trying to kill her classmates. For the most part the instructors were friendly to us though I could tell -call it womans intuition- or maybe it was the squinty-eyed sideways glances when they thought I wasn't looking- that they were irritated by my lack of any sort of control over my dog. Heres what I was thinking at the time:
My dog is an absolute horror of a student please I beg of you,send a tutor
over here to this corner we have been banished to, so that I may in some way learn a small piece of dog obedience wisdom in this hour of lessons...Nope...they ignored us much like the kindergarten teacher ignores the loud humming nose picker.
Not only did my sweet baby try to rip the throat out of the giant lumbering Great Dane puppy, she also squatted in the middle of my sit command and peed a puddle that took me almost an entire roll of paper towel to clean up (of course I was being scrutinized by the other owners during the cleanup), she also pooped during free time and once again I was forced to dispose of her waste in front of an audience...Geez you would think people could at least leave you with a shread of dignity by turning their heads while your up to your wrists in poop...
The night was not a complete wash...
After class when all the puppys and owners were leaving I stayed behind with Lil and asked one of the instructors what I am doing wrong...her response..."pretty much everything"...so now I know... and that was Lesson 1....
I was completely vexed by what I was sure was going to be a nightmarish hour of me trying desperately not to look and act like a fool while my dog paraded around the black rubber warehouse floor all puffed up and looking like a mini Terminator. "Vex"ation was complete with-in the first 5 minutes that Lil and I were in the building...she literally pounced on and viciously attacked a tiny timid Cocker Spaniel puppy who then proceeded to wet himself all over the entrance floor while his owner glared at me and wisked him away from the demon dog from hell.We were making enemies fast. I could barely handle the outward display of rejection that was being offered up to Lil and I in oversized doses. I wanted to let go of the leash and pretend I had know affiliation to the nasty little Jack Russell...unfortunatly it was too late I had already been seen wrestling her to the rubber floor while trying to shove hotdogs in her mouth and begging her to please stop trying to kill her classmates. For the most part the instructors were friendly to us though I could tell -call it womans intuition- or maybe it was the squinty-eyed sideways glances when they thought I wasn't looking- that they were irritated by my lack of any sort of control over my dog. Heres what I was thinking at the time:
My dog is an absolute horror of a student please I beg of you,send a tutor
over here to this corner we have been banished to, so that I may in some way learn a small piece of dog obedience wisdom in this hour of lessons...Nope...they ignored us much like the kindergarten teacher ignores the loud humming nose picker.
Not only did my sweet baby try to rip the throat out of the giant lumbering Great Dane puppy, she also squatted in the middle of my sit command and peed a puddle that took me almost an entire roll of paper towel to clean up (of course I was being scrutinized by the other owners during the cleanup), she also pooped during free time and once again I was forced to dispose of her waste in front of an audience...Geez you would think people could at least leave you with a shread of dignity by turning their heads while your up to your wrists in poop...
The night was not a complete wash...
After class when all the puppys and owners were leaving I stayed behind with Lil and asked one of the instructors what I am doing wrong...her response..."pretty much everything"...so now I know... and that was Lesson 1....
posted by Lucy Kruze at 12:24 PM
12 Comments:
Ensure that when you work your magic from the training class on your puppy at home, your youngest is clearly with earshot.
This worked wonderfully well with my dog in New York 36 years ago, as my one year old son picked up every command and followed them assiduously for months.
I had to laugh. Sorry. My cockerspaniel always poops while walking along sweetly with no notice. Nice. We won't talk about when we were at the vet's office and she had her front paws on my knees. I'm petting away. What a good dog. Then the lady next to me informs that my sweet dog is peeing away. Not a little puddle mind you, but a friggen lake.
One little tip. One of the keys for training is setting the dog up to succeed. Next class, practice all of your deeds at a good distance from the other dogs. Then she won't attack and you won't be embarassed. I know you'll end up at the top of your class.
Refugee that is so funny...I still think there should be a basic obedience training class for parents with toddlers and infants...Oh the money to be had...I could be rich...I could repair my old barn with all of that money...pipe dreams...
Still very funny that your son picked up on the commands so quickly...that is too much...of course you imply must have used that fact often in conversation with his friends and girlfriends when he was a teenager...that is the perfect top of conversation....
Kath: I love your puddle (lake) story! Don't you just love how our animals can embarrass us...
I think your tip is a good one too...although i'm not sure i can get any further from the rest of the class...Lil and I were stuck in a corner "way" away from everyone else...not exactly our idea...everyone just kept inching further and further away from us until it appeared that Lil and I were the direct decendents of Hannibal Lechter and not a soul was going to come with in the length of a football close to us... On the up swing though...Lil and I have been practicing some of the things we learned from class at home and she picks up on them fairly quickly without all of the distractions I at least have a shadow of a chance to get her attention anyway...I'm not sure about the "top of the class" but with any luck we may not fail with flying colors...and that I will take..hehehe
Lucy...I'm not sure whether to thank my lucky stars that I wasn't with you or wish I had been to share in your embarrassment. I guess you and Lil have out done Zeph and I. I thought it was bad when she ran to another owner when told to come, but wow did Lil give you some serious grief!! As you can tell, the boys and I made it safely to our destination...boy is it hot here and there isn't any relief in sight until maybe Saturday. Will try to pop on here regularly so I hope you post often!!! Need my fix and a way to chat with you until I get back home. Miss you tons!!
Miss You Reish...hope your drive wasn't too much of a nightmare...can't wait til you get back so we can have our girl day...already have it all set up...its going to be sooooo much fun!!Please be careful and have tons of fun!!Take lots of pictures of the Amish for me!!
Can honestly say that I have lived this with my dogs and need to take our Meg to an obedience class because she is NAUGHTY and thinks she runs our house and to tell ya the truth, she does. I am just not sure if I am ready for the humilation yet. One of these days, I will do it.
Hope it bets better with her and I know it will, just be consisent.
Blondie
Too funny, wish I could have been there to see it. Sorry to say but for some reason your dogs just don't seem to like authority very well, they always think their incharge, but being that Lil is still a pup I bet she will be easier to train or should I say you will be easier to train this time around He He! Don't feel bad Luc all us dog owners have some trouble with our pooches as well, I'm seriously thinking of taking Ted to a refresher coarse, he doesn't liston very well lately and I think I needs some pointers from the teacher. I do know one thing little bits of cheese as the treats work wonders on keepin their attention while training, they worked great for Ted he even aced the obstacle coarse which the teacher said not to worry if he didn't particapate cause Poms don't do well at that sort of thing but boy was she shocked when he kept going through it for his little peice of cheese....
Cool guestbook, interesting information... Keep it UP
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