Things you should NEVER say to your dentist...
Yesterday as I sat defenseless in the new state of the art cream colored vinyl dental chair I felt moved to tell my dentist how wonderful he is, and how over the past several months I have heard horror stories about the various tortures a person with braces must endure. I wanted him to know that in all of the months that he has been working on these teeth of mine I have only felt mild discomfort and tylenol seems to do the trick in chasing the discomfort away. He stared openly at me for several seconds and the corner of his mouth seemed to twitch just the slightest bit and then he smiled that funny fake smile that says "you have said something that disturbs me and there will be consequences". Who knew that paying your dentist a heartfelt compliment could be so utterly and completely painful!! At one point I had a wrench a car jack and a large metal vicegrip in my mouth all at the same time I had no idea my mouth was capable of opening to that degree. He whispered under his breath several times these phrases "width of the arches" and "dropping the tranny" I felt pain in huge amounts circling my head and driving large concrete filled dump trucks over my face. When he was finished with my mouth those lovely feelings of praise were scraped viciously from my psyche. I will never again tell that man he is not the bringer of pain...this is obviously not his primary objective. 6 tylenol later and my head still feels like someone used it for a soccer ball and my teeth feel like he ripped every one of them out and then shoved them all back in where he decided they should be.
posted by Lucy Kruze at 7:42 AM
7 Comments:
Hilarious Luc, you should never tell the dentist he is gentle and doesn't fork out any pain. That is what they live for the more pain and discomfort they can give the better, just ask my dentist. He's like a hundred years old, I think he did George Washington's wooden teeth, but he still loves his job. And why wouldn't he he can make a grown woman cry for her momma.
You fruitloop Anna!! I can just see you strapped in the chair screamin' MOMMY!!
You have a way of bringing back the memory of when I had braces. Of course seeing you only eat a biscuit and have a small drink for lunch was a vivid reminder too. I sympathize with you Lucy!!
I can only hope that the guy is a little less brutal at my next visit Reish and by the way lunch with you was just what I needed that day I had a lot of fun and it was nice to talk without all of our children interrupting every 2 minutes.
Amen to that!!! I needed that day too and even the rain didn't "dampen" our good time together...actually made it more amusing!! Can't wait until our next fun day together...Wednesday the 21st right?!?!?!
Yep the 21st hopefully it won't be rainin' be even so it should be fun!!
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