A full "Funeral Parlor" ....

What a morbid thought...I know...but lately I have been looking at my life in terms of the people that I know and love.For instance all of the people in my life including casual acquaintances...have I made a good impact...bad impact...no impact? Recently a man that lived on a farm near us passed away...the night of his wake there were so many people that came to pay their respects that they had to enter the funeral parlor in shifts, he touched that many people in his short life...this made me wonder...if I died tonight...would my funeral parlor be full...have I done enough in my life to deserve the tears of others? Is that vain? To wonder if you mattered? To hope that you do? Most days I feel like a major disappointment to every one.. my husband...my girls....my sister,mother,grandmother, friends even strangers...I should have said this...I should have done that...should have called...written...read one more bedtime story...played barbies...listened better...God the list just goes on and on...its pathetic...and a bit neurotic I admit. But really... is it better to live your life wondering if your making the right choices doing the right things or better to live without any regrets? If I tell my friends that I love every unique thing about them is that enough...like how Alisha can finish my sentences and how we always seem to know what the other is thinking and how she has me on speed dial and how we can talk every day for hours and never run out of things to say and how we are positive we were sisters in another life. Like how Connie 1 (Conradgofercheeks) knows everything about me from the age of 13 til now and still she loves me and how we can go for months without seeing each other...and then get together and its like no time has passed at all. Like how Jane laughs at everything I say and can still make me giggle just like we did when we were in school. And how she was there during some of the most memorable days of my life. Like how Connie 2 and I can go from crying together to laughing together in the very same breathe and how she listens and understands and never judges. Like how Anna (my sis) has been the twin to my soul since the day she was born.How she can look at the smile on my face but still see the truth in my eyes and how she has the most amazingly big heart .I could list everyone in my life and I will no doubt regret not listing everyone...WARNING: Sappy heartfelt statement ahead: I do love my friends and family and maybe I don't always say and do the right things but always you guys mean the world to me...hopefully I am to you ...what you all are to me...