Short essay...Still not "country"

We moved from the city 2 years ago...and ever since I have been curious to learn how long you have to live in the country before your country neighbors stop referring to you as "c-i-t-y", for example, the time I locked myself out of our house and had to run through the corn field in flipflops to our neighbors house to use their phone...Neighbors stunned reaction : "you lock your doors? " the word "city" bounced sweetly off her tongue and smacked me up side the head. Then there was the time I tried to rotartill our garden all-by-myself and managed to wrap 4 feet of our garden fence around the rotartiller blades ...the farmer that owns the fields around us drove by on his tracker witnessed the destruction shook his head while laughing and I swear I seen him mouth that vile word "CITY" . There are many more examples like the time I accidently started our yard on fire and the fact that my husband plows our 8 gazillion mile long driveway every winter with a man operated snowplow...you know... the kind you see in the "CITY" !!! Well today I have committed the ultimate "city" act...and this one should guarantee me the label "City" for many years to come...Friends...Family...Perfect Strangers...I am completely embarrassed to admit that.....I-have-weeded-the-farmers-cornfield !! Not the "whole" 80 acres just the very small almost none existent part that borders our front yard... it only took me 1 hour and 15 minutes... surely that falls within the realm of sanity?! Doesn't it? My only defense is that I was trying to acheive perfect harmony between edge of yard and beginning of cornfield...I know...I know...altogether now...C-I-T-Y and lets just throw CERTIFIBLE in there too just for good measure!!